Post pandemic, my friends had high hopes for my dating life. After completing my Master’s degree and landing a decent job, they hoped that I would have finally opened my heart to the concept of dating. However, I had some different plans for my life. Since forever, I had watched happy couples professing their love for one another and taking care of each other. When you are dating someone, you usually treat them well and prioritize their needs and happiness. And I wanted to do the same, BUT for myself.
What Does It Mean To Date Yourself
Don’t get me wrong, or think that I am selfish. But whether you are in a relationship or not, loving and treating yourself the same way in which you would love or treat your significant other has always been important to me. According to me, caring for yourself and prioritizing your needs can not only make you happy, but will also help you understand yourself better. Loving yourself is the basis of creating a healthy relationship with yourself. Just like you date other people to judge if they are the right fit for you, you date yourself too. The only difference is that no matter how your date goes, you have to commit to this relationship for a lifetime.
How To Date Yourself – 13 Beautiful Ways
While entering a relationship, being unaware of yourself can create a ripple effect. It can affect your partner as well as your relationship with them. Thus, self-love is as much about others in your life as it is about you. So, to make the world a better place and to introduce you all to yourselves a-new, I am here with a list of ‘how to date yourself ideas’ that I found helpful while dating myself for a year. So let’s embark on this fascinating journey of how to date yourself and fall in love – with a new you!
1. Make yourself a priority
It’s a fact that your happiness takes a backseat when you constantly base your decisions on what you think you should be doing instead of what you want to do. Being caught up in a false narrative dictated to you by the mainstream media and society can not only harm your relationships, but can also take a toll on your mental health. So, the first step to learning how to date yourself and fall in love is to prioritize your own needs. Taking out time to enjoy the present without thinking about what is expected of you can be a great start. Without feeling guilty of being too indulgent or selfish, you need to claim back your calmness and make some time only for yourself. This ‘me-time’ can be snuggling up in your bed and watching a movie, taking a long walk in the woods, or running a long bubble bath at your own pace. Anything works, as far as it calms your mind.
2. Build a self-care routine
If you thought that the pandemic can ruin all your how to date yourself ideas, then I need to correct you, my friend. Who knows you better than you yourself? Then why not take out time to put yourself first? Here’s how to date yourself during quarantine. Self-care is all about nurturing yourself and your everyday habits, health and well-being. Although it might require some extra effort on your part, this practice can help you understand the ‘date yourself’ meaning much better. Self-care means really listening to your body and taking out some moments to check in with yourself and your needs. It’s more than just taking care of your physical self. Self-care rituals are an extremely important aspect of how to date yourself and fall in love with your mind, body and spirit. Just eating healthy, taking out time to exercise and popping in those vitamins is not enough. In this fast-paced world, pausing to take a look at all the wonderful things around you is a part of self-care. A wonderful self care routine can teach you how to love yourself and pave the way to some new avenues of love in your life.
3. Be assertive about your needs
Being assertive about your needs means communicating your wants, feelings, beliefs and opinions out loud. Powerful self-talking can help you keep your emotions in check while helping you develop a great relationship with yourself. However, if, like one of my friends, you’re also wondering about how to date yourself after a breakup, then I have got some great advice for you. The best way to learn how to date yourself after a breakup is to date yourself while in a relationship. Yup! That true. If you can date yourself while in a relationship, you will never have to be dependent on someone else for your happiness. Taking the control of your own happiness is the most powerful thing anyone can do. And being assertive and alert about your needs is the best way to take control of your happiness.
4. Take yourself out
Nothing comes closer to the meaning of ‘date yourself’ than literally taking yourself out on a date. Why wait around for someone to take you out on the date of your dreams when you are perfectly capable of doing that yourself? A good solo date should be nothing short of fun, relaxing, exciting and magical. In short, it should be PERFECT to the T! And the best part is that it could be as flexible as you want it to be. Yes, there definitely are some awesome advantages of being single, especially on a date like this. You can choose to dress up or maybe not. You can make any last-minute changes or give up the worry of being on time altogether. Everything depends entirely on you! However, no matter what you decide to do with your special date, there are a few rules that must not be broken. First of all, you have no right to space out or think about someone else while you are on your special date. Be present in the moment and give yourself all the attention that you deserve. Next, do not come in the way of your happiness by constantly judging yourself or your actions. Don’t beat yourself up by thinking that it was a bad idea as people are looking at you and judging you. Because trust me, that’s only your self-consciousness speaking. And lastly, don’t forget to relax and have the best time of your life. No matter if you take yourself out to dinner, watch a movie on your couch or in a theater, just chill out on the beach, or decide to embark upon a long drive. The most important thing is making yourself happy. And yes, thank me later for teaching you how to date yourself and fall in love with an amazing person.
5. Take up a new skill to challenge yourself
Challenge and change are the best of friends. And what’s better than challenging yourself to change your life for the better? By taking up new challenges, you can achieve more of your goals, have better relationships and increase your happiness. So, what are you waiting for? Take up those salsa lessons that you always wanted to try. Or book those pottery classes that you’ve been wondering about. Indulging in a new skill can work wonders for your life and the way you see things and the people around you. The skills or challenges need not necessarily be something big or difficult. It could be as easy as pushing yourself to wake up an hour earlier, getting off the phone more often, or simply learning more about the people you spend most of your time with. As long as you can feel the personal growth and a sense of rejuvenation, you are good to go.
6. Learn your likes and dislikes
These how to date yourself ideas are focused on bringing you closer to yourself. When I searched the words ‘date yourself meaning’ on the internet, most of them focused on attaining a state of happiness. “But how can these date yourself ideas work if I am unaware of what makes me happy”, I wondered. Knowing your likes and dislikes can change the way you perceive happiness. After dating myself for a year, I can safely say that I know way more about myself now than I ever had before. The best way to find out about your likes and dislikes is to focus on how you introduce yourself to others. Often, this helps you understand what aspects of your life make you feel proud or happy and what don’t. If you find yourself in search of the right partner again and again, then learning your likes and dislikes can break that painful pattern. Another way to gather more information about yourself can be journaling. Transferring all your feelings into words can help you become more aware of your feelings. This would further tell you more about what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. Taking a personality test, analyzing your strengths and weaknesses, moving out of your comfort zone, or opting for therapy can be some wonderful ways to know more about yourself.
7. Go on a solo trip
Here’s another fact for you. It’s as difficult to date yourself while in a relationship as it is after a breakup. Most of the people wonder how to date yourself after a breakup while completely forgetting that dating yourself while in a relationship is more difficult. In a relationship, the constant presence of a partner, knowingly or unknowingly influences your decisions as well as the way you see the world. You are so busy with your partner that you sometimes forget to check in with yourself. No matter what your relationship status is, going out on a solo trip can help you reconnect with yourself. Depending on your budget, you can choose an exotic location or a great getaway spot on the outskirts of the city. As long as you are allowed to spend some time with your own thoughts, the location is not a problem. Just keep a few key points in mind to travel safely and you are good to go! Do your homework beforehand and keep a detailed plan of itinerary ready. Choose the right accommodations and don’t forget to exude confidence.
8. Be a tourist in your own town
Sometimes changing the lens with which you see the world around you can work wonders. By tweaking your perspective, the most mundane and day-to-day activities and places may begin to appear extraordinary. And seeing your own city through some touristy sunglasses might be a great way to discover more about your surroundings and, in the process, maybe even your own self. This low-budget how to date yourself idea changes the definition of ‘staycation’ and brings you closer to the person you should love the most. And the first step to start exploring this ‘new’ town/city is moving out of your house to a motel or hotel. Next, get a friend who would love to show you around the city like a local guide. Or if you are feeling a bit extravagant, hire a real tourist guide! You never know what new places you might end up finding. And yes, don’t forget to take some cheesy pictures of yourself in front of those tourist spots. The best way to end your trip could be eating out at the most touristy restaurant in town and maybe mingling among the other tourists and hearing all about their adventures. Don’t forget to soak in the nightlife offered by your city while embracing the feeling of being a stranger in your own hometown. The world should look at you and go ‘Hey! She has no regrets being single in this beautiful town!’
9. Get dressed for no reason
One of my friends asked me, “Can you please explain this ‘how to date yourself’ meaning? I want to understand it’s true essence.” And my answer to that was to stop relying on others for your happiness. Most of the time, the dresses we wear, the shoes we put on, or the accessories we carry are dependent on how others will perceive us. But sometimes it’s nice to let go of the feeling that you are socially obliged to do something. Getting dressed for no reason is a powerful way to reclaim your happiness. This how to date yourself idea tops my ‘how to date yourself during quarantine’ list. The way you dress, correlates directly with your self-esteem. If you look good, you feel good and if you don’t look good you feel bad. It’s as simple as that. Staying stuck in the same boring outfits or your comfy little pajamas will only keep you stuck in the same rut. However, dressing up for yourself, just so you can see yourself and smile in the mirror can actually push you towards a good mood and feelings of optimism throughout the day. And this theory applies to your intimates as well. Putting on a comfortable set of sexy lingerie can help you feel sensual, strong and more confident. Because as someone has once said, beauty is when the inside is as beautiful as the outside.
10. Dance your heart out
Out of all the how to date yourself ideas out there, this one is the most entertaining. Dancing is the most fun way of expressing joy. When you let loose and celebrate life, you can actually feel happiness gushing through your veins. It is a great self-care tool that can double up as a workout and a stress buster at the same time. No matter if you consider yourself to be a master at this art or someone with two left feet, everybody is a dancing body if you are willing to just move it! Close your door if need be and dance like nobody is watching, because no one is. Let the happy hormones fill you up while you are pumping with joy and energy. You can create a playlist or just tune in to a random song on your TV or radio. You can turn up the volume of your stereo or put in some earplugs. The only rule here is to dance your heart out! And honestly, what’s a better way to date yourself and fall in love than a dance date?
11. Cook for yourself
After dating myself for a year, this is the best how to date yourself idea that I can introduce you to. I’m sure many of you will agree that food and love go hand in hand. Good food is love whereas good love feels like someone has just put up a buffet of good food only for you. Well, even though the two feelings might be comparable, the recipe for both are a bit different. Cooking can be seen as one of the most fundamental ways of impacting your physical and mental well-being. It can be said that the habit of cooking can nourish you on all levels. And since your most important relationship is with yourself, it’s important to nurture it. Taking your mind off from the daily chaos and just surrounding yourself with some pleasant aromas and freshly made food can help you find your calm. In order to make cooking a part of your life, you need to make it enjoyable. Start by cooking things that you love to eat and are simple to prepare. You need not be an expert at cooking or have an aim of pursuing it as your ‘hobby.’ Just making something healthy and tasty once for yourself can actually help you connect with yourself better.
12. Give yourself a gift
Take a deep breath and imagine your date gets a gift for you. The gift is perfect! You always wanted to have it and now you cannot believe that it is here, wrapped neatly, only for you! But wait. Couldn’t you have bought that for yourself? These how to date yourself ideas would have been incomplete without the mention of a gift. Nothing spells ‘love’ better than a gift. Buying gifts for yourself is neither selfish nor stupid. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to show yourself some love. Gift yourself something that you’ve always wanted, because you deserve it. After all the hard work you put in and everything you go through, you deserve to receive some recognition in the form of a gift. Luxury bath essentials, a bouquet of flowers, a diamond necklace, or a new dress. Gifts have no definition. Depending on how much you want to spend and what you love the most, you can pick the perfect gift for yourself. At the end of the day, a gift should be something that can bring a beautiful smile to your face.
13. Write yourself some juicy messages
In this world of social media, more often than not, our self-worth is tied to others’ opinions. So much so, that we spend most of our time constantly comparing and criticizing our looks and lifestyle. But it’s time to get out of this nasty habit and embrace the true ‘you.’ Take a look at yourself in the mirror and focus on all the beauty you possess. Write yourself some juicy letters or messages proclaiming your love for the gorgeous beauty you are. This will help you drop the bad habit of only concentrating on the flaws. It will help you redirect your focus to all the good in you and provide you with more confidence enabling you to fall in love with yourself. And above all, who knows that this can help you become a sexting pro – a quality that might spice up your relationship with your present or future partner. These 13 how to date yourself ideas are special to me. After dating myself for a year, I have found that self-love is an important step towards achieving true happiness. I hope all of these ‘date yourself ideas’ will help introduce you to your new love. For more content on relationships and love, keep visiting us at bonobology.com.
